The difference between one day and the next has been very notable. When talking to the nurse yesterday, she was not ready to be admitted to Gilchrist's in-patient Hospice unit, but 24 hours later she has been. Breathing is slowing, she can no longer suck, drinking is difficult, no desire to eat [and in our family that is the surest sign of all ; )]. Our entire family was gathered at my house; my husband Ray, our 5 children, daughter-in-law, 2 grandsons, and both my brother Rob and sister Lorri's families. 18 in total, counting mom. I told my 3-1/2 year old grandson, Zechariah, that Nana would be going to Heaven to be with Jesus soon. He said, "Is Nana going in a holycopter?"
I accompanied mom in the ambulance, but she barely stirred enough to acknowledge the change of location. Once inside, she asked if she had been here before. Her times of consciousness are dwindling with her moments of lucidity when awake. When the whole family was able to reassemble in her room, we woke her and told her that she would be going to be with our dad, her parents and other loved ones we knew would be in Heaven to greet her. I am not sure that she understood, but I will be with her and able to explain more about what she can expect. Life and even death are full of miracles. Maybe I will see the angels that will escort her too?
When everyone was leaving, she opened her eyes when Zechariah was kissing her and smiled. He arranged his thumb, forefinger and pinky in the sign language symbol for " I Love You". Nana smiled and signed back to him. We were all elated at this small, but significant response. Her voice is so weak, it is almost inaudible. Gilchrist is a wonderful place to be when you know you will be leaving for Heaven in not so very long. The staff here is fantastic, the grounds and spaces inside allow maximum mobility and the best atmosphere possible for friends and loved ones to gather. There is a fold out bed and shower that I can use, as I will be here as long as mom is. I don't want her alone for 1 minute and I certainly want to be with her when she goes Home. Prayer is the only thing that is allowing me to go through this with any amount of sanity. Mine and that of many many others in the Body of Christ. I have the spirit of thanksgiving in the midst of this trial, but I am also trying to prepare myself for missing the heck out of my mommy.
Tuesday, Rob, Lorri and I met to make mom's arrangements. Right afterwards, Lorri got a call that a close friend of the family had unexpectedly passed. As unexpected as it can be when a woman is 85 and been housebound with emphysema for 15 years. Lorri was so sad, because it had been on her heart to call Miss Edna the day before and she hadn't gotten around to it. A similar tale of woe came when I called another friend to tell her of the news. She had meant to stop by and vist, but didn't get around to it.
The moral of this story is that when you have something on your heart to do, do it. You never know if you will have an opportunity to do so later. This way, you will never have any regrets. Tell people what they mean to you. Give thanks for kindnesses bestowed. Share your life with others. No matter how busy you are, there is always room for 15 minutes here or there to do something for someone else. Lighten their burden, make them smile, share a holiday meal, stop for coffee. You get the idea. You will be surprised how much your life will be blessed when you think of others 1st. Writing to you and sharing my "novel", as Kimmy put it, is my way of making lemonade out of the lemons of this situation. If 1 person could benefit from anything I have gone through, then good has come from a bad circumstance. I am assured that my Redeemer lives and that Mom and my family will also with Him forever.